


Always At Your Side

by space_babe (sunnithesunflower)



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Fluff, Friendship, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, On Hiatus, Original Character(s), Other, Pining, Pre-James T. Kirk/Spock, Relationship(s), Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Sweet, Understanding, Unrequited Love, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22318945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnithesunflower/pseuds/space_babe
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

"Spock, analysis of Planet Delta 5," said Jim after the tiring away mission they had just completed.

Everyone was tired and Jim knew it. He knew that the crew was getting antsy and needed a well-deserved rest after rescuing a planet that was on the brink of extinction.

Spock turned around to face him, hands clasped behind his back. "Captain it is a planet with a nitrogen, oxygen atmosphere with lots of Flora and Fauna. Class M. Additionally it has approximately 23 different primitive tribes. However, despite this information, there seems to be no life form readings on the planet below." 

"Good work, Mr Spock, you may take over as I shall retire to my quarters for rest."

Jim tiredly walks to the turbolift before suddenly the entire ship wobbled and the entire bridge crew fell backwards. 

"Captain it seems we have been hit by a piece of space debris. Its material is an unknown substance and it has damaged our engines badly." said Spock. 

"Kirk to engineering, how bad is it and what can be done?" Jim said leaning into his chair for support. The Captain had received no answer. Jim, tried again to reach engineering. He needed to know what had happened. It had seemed like they were stranded in space. Of course, there was no knowing if the transporter still worked and therefore they could still beam down and complete their mission to accomplish peace and a small treaty with the tribes below. 

"Lieutenant, communicate with Starfleet Command." As he signed leaning back into the chair. The bridge went into silence, each crew member having their own thoughts. The air was thick with tension and worry.

Jim turned his chair around to see the Vulcan. There was no communication in the form of speech but the stoic Vulcan raised an eyebrow and Jim chuckled, despite the situation before them. The silence was later broken again by Uhura having trouble raising Starfleet Command. 

It was true then, they really were stranded in space. The engines would take at least a couple weeks to repair and no communication from Starfleet Command their only choices were to beam down the planet if the transporter was working. 

"Captain" Spock said trying to acknowledge something he had only just realized. 

"Captain?" The normally stoic and emotionless Vulcan had an expression of worry flash over his face for a moment. Only a single moment. It had passed as quickly as it appeared. 

The Captain started. "Oh. Sorry, Mr Spock." Jim started shaking his head to get stars out of his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Kirk's POV

I started. "Oh. Sorry, Mr Spock." I started shaking my head to get stars out of my eyes. I yawned and stood up. "Mr Spock, you have the conn. I shall retire to my quarters." I said stumbling over everything. Why was I so tired? And why did I have a massive headache? Suddenly, I tripped over on my way to the turbolift. That hurt. "Deck 5" I said wearily holding on to the turbolift like my life depended on it. The whole world was spinning. Why was it spinning? I closed my eyes to stop the dizziness but eventually fell asleep. When I awoke, I was no longer in the turbolift. Instead, I saw the annoyed face of my best friend. Bones.

"Hey Bones, how you doing?" I asked feeling oddly light-headed.

"Just great, you big idiot. Just perfect." He grumbled "you just had to go and get poisoned on that last away mission without telling me! You’re going to get yourself killed one day and I won’t be there to save that sorry ass of yours."

I stare at the ceiling remembering that I did get scratched by some odd plant. But I thought it was harmless. Plants with thorns don't usually have poison within them. 

When I don’t answer, Bones starts poking me in the arm but as soon as he does I jerk my arm away in pain. "Ow... Bones quit it." I said glaring at him from the biobed. McCoy's face changed from anger to worry and concern within a moment. "Hey, Jim.. Im sorry. Just concerned the way you've been acting lately. Now can you tell me what happened on that last away mission?" He said guiltily but gentle. 

"Yeah, I guess. It was the end of the mission and we were all reconvening in the area we agreed with. When I come back, I accidentally scratch my arm and shoulder on some odd-looking orange plants." I said but also continued on. "But, Bones, why until now I get affected by that poison or something now? Shouldn't it have been soon as we came back? Its been 2 and half a week since then." I say, frowning.

"Probably, just a delayed reaction Jim, nothing more to it." my best friend said sounding quite distracted and lost in his thoughts.

"Oh. Alright. Well, Bones, Im out of here" I said standing up. I stumbled on my feet and leaned on the wall for support. "Jim. You, are going to stay right there." Bones said pushing me back onto the biobed. 

"Ugh.. but Booones..." 

"No. You are staying put. Don’t make me put restraints on you to stay there Jim. Just rest, its what you need."

I glared at Bones. Suddenly I heard the hiss of a hypospray and soon fell out of consciousness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the first couple of chapters arent great. This is just an old work im uploading but its not fully finished. The first couple of chapters are cringy but i hope u can wait and see until its done!

~time skip~

Jim left sickbay in a huff. 

He had annoyed the hell out of Bones in sickbay after his whole episode with the delayed reaction with the poison from the away mission. Bones, who eventually got tired of Jim's whining and begging to be let out of sickbay finally let him go. But only if he rested in his quarters for another 24 hours before he was ready for duty. Jim rolled his eyes and strode out of sickbay, an annoyed look on his face.

~time skip~

It was around 0200 hours and Jim couldn’t sleep. 

He went first went to the bridge to see the stars as he had for a couple of weeks since his problems with began. Sometimes he would fall asleep in the Captain's chair but that was a rare occurrence.

Jim sighed and looked at the stars from the bridge. "Damn, they look beautiful tonight," he said, his voice filled with bittersweet tones.

Jim thought about what had been happening lately. The events weren’t unusual but just more exhausting than normal. The crew had longed for shore leave. Starfleet hadn’t replied to the request for one and instead, had gotten a new mission. Jim could feel himself slipping into unconsciousness until he heard the voice of a certain Vulcan. 

Jim smiled and walked up to his first officer. "Spock what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?" Jim asked, yawning.

"Captain, I do not require much rest to function, however, humans such as yourself do. May I inquire at why you are up at such an hour?" Spock asked as he entered the bridge.

Jim looked away from Spock and simply stared at the viewing screen.

Spock stepped down from his post and walked closer to the Captain. "Jim. Look at me." He said gently. Jim turned to face him, exhaustion etched in his features. "What is wrong?" Spock inquired, his voice soft.

"Nothing... Spock. Im... just a little stressed from some stuff. Im fine. Just not able to sleep." Jim said tiredly, rubbing his temples. 

Spock placed a very gentle, warm, comforting hand on Jim's shoulder. 

Jim looked up, shocked from the physical contact but also didn’t shun away from it. Their eyes met and he was lost in the dark brown chocolatey eyes of his best friend.

Spock broke away first, his hand leaving Jim's shoulder. Jim frowned which went unnoticed by Spock. He could still feel the ghost of Spock's fingers across his shoulders, heat still seeping through the fabric of the uniform.

"Jim.. You require rest. Would you like me to accompany you back to your quarters?" Spock said, pulling Jim up by the wrist helping him stand up.

"No Spock, Im fine... Thanks for looking out for me though. You’re a good friend." Jim said sleepily, walking towards the turbolift.

Spock had a hard lipped smile as he watched Jim go. Goodnight my t'hy'la… he thought. Spock frowned lightly shocked by his own thoughts. Pushing away his thoughts and suppressed feelings he got back to work.

~the next day~

Jim walked onto the bridge and slid into the captain's chair looking well-rested than he had been the entire week.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for simply covering up the planet thing but back then i had no ideas so i simply tried to cover it up though, so, sorry about that stupid mistake. Also sorry if i made bones get kinda out of character or something. I hope the rest of it is good though! Happy reading!

~A few weeks later~

The engines had finally been repaired and ready for action but the transporter was still inoperative. By the time they had gotten it to work again, Starfleet Command had ordered them to stay away from the planet and instead gave them a different mission. The current one was now strictly confidential and it was of most utmost secrecy. It was never to be spoken of again and the "Enterprise" functioned smoothly once again. 

The doctor and couple of biologists had just came back from a planet called Altair 4 which was basically a goldmine as it had a rare plant that could cure regilian fever quicker than their current methods.

Jim was sitting in his chair, staring at his first officer while he worked with some sort of look in his eyes. 

He was shaken out of his zone as Bones came down to the bridge. He leaned against the armrest and smiled at his best friend. As his chair swivelled his hazel eyes stared into Bones' beautiful blue ones. 

"Whats up Bones?" Jim asked.

"Nothing Jim. You free for a drink?" Bones asked a mischevious smile creeping on his face.

"Oh yes. I certainly need one." Jim said stepping off his chair. "Mr. Spock, you have the conn. " Jim said as he entered the turbolift.

"Deck 5" Bones said.

As they got to the captains quarters they settled themselves on a chair while Bones pulled out some drinks. "Fancy some vodka, scotch or saurian brandy?" Bones asked.

"Definitely some brandy, doc. But not too much.. Im on duty later." Jim answered, a gentle smile on his face.

Bones slid the glass over to Jim but before Jim could grab it he took it back again, a mischevious look in his ice-blue eyes.

"Aww...Bones! Can I have the damn drink?" Jim whined.

"You have to earn it first.." Bones said, teasing him by leaning closer to Jim.

"Oh yeah?" Jim asked so close to Bones that they were breathing the same air.

"Yeah.." Bones said in a low voice, closing the gap between them and meeting Jim's lips.

Bones' hand ruffled Jim's hair and his lips were soft against his boyfriend's own.

Bones pulled away first and Jim pouted, placing his hands into Bones' hair. "Bones..." said Jim but smiling once again.

Bones looked in his lover's hazel eyes and softened. He ran his fingers over Jim's cheekbones, gently caressing them.

"Quit smiling at me like that, I can’t stop messing up sentences when you look at me like that." Bones said playfully.

Jim let out a small laugh. "Well, maybe you better stop talking.." Jim teased, kissing Bones again but different from before. Jim moaned slightly as Bones peppered his neck with soft gentle kisses. "Bones.."

Suddenly, the door opened as someone punched in the override codes to the quarters. There was Spock. It was only a moment after the door had opened, Jim and Bones realised who was there. They hastily released themselves from each other and turned to face the Vulcan. Spock looked slightly shocked and raised an eyebrow at both of them.

Jim stood up and walked towards his first officer. "Yes, Mr Spock, what is it?" He said awkwardly, clearing his throat.

"Umm.. Captain.. I am simply here to give you reports on how fast the new cure is working." Spock said, handing him a PADD. 

Spock coughed nervously and Jim could basically feel the awkward tension in the room. Spock coughed once more. "I was not ahem... aware that you and Doctor McCoy were in a romantic relationship together. Ahem.. Pardon my intrusion Captain but you were not answering the door so I used my override to gain access." Spock said, a green tint on his cheeks, clearly embarrassed by the topic of conversation. Without another word, Spock exited Jim's quarters quick as lightning.

"That was odd. He seemed different today. Did you notice something different?" Jim asked, concerned for his friend. 

"The hobgoblin? Yeah he did seem a little off, but still the same emotionless facade." Bones said.

Jim punched Bones shoulder gently. "Bones don’t call him that." Jim said.

Bones rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah." He said, clearly frustrated. "Bones.." said Jim, walking closer to him, "your not jealous, are you?" Jim asked, halfway between a frown and a laugh.

"What? No! Of course not! Jealous of the hobgoblin? Jealous of how both of you basically spend the entire day stuck to each other? No, of course not. " Bones said slightly bitter and turned away from Jim, not wanting his boyfriend to see him like this.

Jim raised an eyebrow, surprised by this fact. "Bones...look at me. Bones.." Jim pleaded. Going to Bones' side to face him, Jim put hand on his shoulder.

"Bones… you know I love you right?" Jim asked, trying to comfort his lover. "Yeah.. yeah I know that. I just.. have been stressed lately... more injuries than usual around this time of year. And more serious ones. Im sorry I lashed out like that, it was uncalled for. And.." Bones trailed off, burying his head in Jim's shoulder. 

Jim played with his hair while making soothing noises. "It'll be fine Bones. Do you want to watch a movie?" Jim asked, knowing a way to calm him down. Bones looked up from Jim's shoulder and nodded. He crawled onto the bed and curled up into a little ball. Jim joined him, putting his arms around him protectively and leaned into his touch. They were watching a old 21st-century film called Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban because it was Jim and Bones’ favourite. Half-way through the movie Bone's had uncurled himself and was lying against Jim. Bones' fell asleep soon after that and Jim simply had his arms around the doctor and was falling fast asleep himself as the movie finished.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while and that this update is kinda short. im kinda in a rough patch at the moment and some things just aren't working well for me. School has really been taking a toll and so have some social issues because of my introverted awkwardness. at the moment writing is one of my ways to deal with my problems and I haven't written in ages until a couple of days ago. Its really helping me and so is your support for my fanfic. thanks so much for reading and I really appreciate it. I love you guys and thanks for being patient! :D

*******

"An away mission on Gamma Delta 5?"

"Yes sir." Spock repeated a slightly irritable look on his face that only Jim could really notice.

"Heh. Interesting. " 

"Sir, I do not understand why this mission is more 'Interesting' to you than others. In all due respect, the mission is simple and the planet is plain and barren. Therefore, I see nothing whatsoever that is remotely interesting."

"Whoa, Spock. Are you sassing me right now? " Jim asked in a mocking authoritative voice, an eyebrow raised in amusement with a small smile on his face. 

"Excuse my actions sir, I meant no disrespect, it is just that-"

"Wow, Bones really is affecting you, damn. Anyways don't worry about it, it was great. I feel like I've accomplished something spectacular. " Jim replied laughing a little at his first officer's response. Spock tried to reply to that comment but gave up eventually.

"Anyways... Sulu, when are we arriving?" He nodded at the helmsman as a way of approval. "In approximately 2 solar hours Captain. "

"Good work, Mr Spock, set up a landing party for us please and get it ready soon. You also have the conn till we reach our destination. " he ordered, walking to turbolift, intending to go see Bones first and then take a well deserved nap. 

*******

The doors of sickbay swished open, letting in the captain. "Bones! How's my favourite doctor?" Jim put his arms around McCoy's waist, coming from behind and resting his chin on his shoulder. "Dark, Ominous, irritable as hell. " Bones replied bitterly, his usual scowl on his face. “Aw, babe, bad day at work?” Jim said, his tone had turned more gentle and understanding. Bones softened lightly, looking at his partner before scowling again and barking orders at some poor new nurse to get a patient another shot of cordrazine. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Bones answered, sarcasm dripping like honey in his voice. 

“Oh Bones, cheer up! There's an away mission for Gamma Delta 5! Aren’t you excited for me?” Jim was practically bouncing in excitement. “No. Because Gamma Delta 5 has lots of rocks and caves, and very dangerous tribal people and other species we might not even know of! Combine that with you and Boom, we have an instant disaster. Which is the last thing we want.” 

Jim sighed, looking Bones over, apparently, it seemed like he wasn’t going to cheer him up today. He was right though, Leonard had seen hard times especially because of Jim's-no-care-for-his-life reckless attitude. Leonard on so many occasions had seen him almost die, struggle, be in pain. So many times there were close calls, times when he almost lost a person he couldn’t live without. It took a toll on Bones, subconsciously and sometimes at night, he’d wake up gasping, terrified if Jim wasn’t there. Terrified of losing him. “Okay, Bones. I’m sorry, I’ll see you later then.” A pin drop could be heard in the silence. As Jim rose, Bones grasped his hand gently but firm. His sincere eyes met Jim’s own as he bit his lip trying to get the words to come out. “Be careful,  _ please. _ ” There was a pause as neither of them knew what to say and they simply held on to each other, clinging on either one as if they were their last lifelines. Letting go of each other was harder than imagined even though this time nothing was different but also everything  __ different. As Jim finally went to leave he turned one last time locking eyes with Bones, knowing something was between them. “ I will, for both of our sakes.” he said, flashing a bittersweet smile before departing. The doors swished closed behind him and Bones slowly slid down the wall into a misshapen mess, closing his eyes and breathing in shakily, trying hard not to break into a million pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also sorry if this chapter was confusing to you or didnt really make sense or something. it will make sense later on and you will realize everything. (well not everything but u get the point)


End file.
